Changing Myself
by The Violent Tomboy
Summary: One shot. It's good to change yourself. Especially when you're trying to change your not as cool dub version.


Naruto sat on a fallen log in the forest, having a deep conversation with what could be mistaken has one of his famous shadow doppelgangers.

"You know, you really have to make some changes about yourself," he started, sounding more serious than normal.

"Like what?" asked his counterpart. His voice was much different than the original. It was somewhat high-pitched and sounded like he had a permanent bad cough.

"Well, lots of my loyal anime fans are really disappointed at you. Your voice sucks compared to mine, you don't cuss, and well, you get the idea. You're not that much of a good dub."

"Not my fault. I mean, when do Americans actually dub anime right? I can't help it, believe it."

"That's another thing. STOP SAYING 'BELIEVE IT'! That line is so damn corny," Naruto snapped.

"Hey, you say 'dattebayo' a lot yourself, you jerk!" Dub Naruto shot back.

"I'm not the one who says my catch phrase nearly every other sentence!" Naruto exclaimed. "There's lots of characters that have their own catch phrase, but it sounds cool on them when they don't CONSTANTLY repeat them! When you say a whole speech, you ruin all the drama by saying 'believe it' at the end! If you said it once per episode, maybe anime fans would be a lot more lenient with it."

"Maybe you're right…" Dub Naruto trailed off. His eyes lit up when he thought of something. "Hey, what does 'dattebayo' mean, anyway?"

"You know, I don't think it even means anything," Naruto realized. "Oh well, let's just work on your language for a second. Repeat after me. Bastard. BAS-tard."

"B-b-bas-(_beep!_)," Dub Naruto said. "That's didn't work. I didn't know I could make beeping noises."

"Damn dubbers. When you go home, go to the mirror and practice saying it. You got to wear out the beeper sooner or later," Naruto declared.

"In all fairness, the dub voices aren't all that bad compared to other previously dubbed anime," Dub Naruto said thoughtfully. "But I wish I was dubbed by the people who do the adult swim anime. They do a decent job. But the other ones…"

"Shaman King."

"One Piece."

Simultaneous twin shudders.

"Why the hell they give a Chinese guy a British accent is beyond me."

"What kind of accent does Sanji and Ussop have anyway? Does anyone really talk like that in the 3-D world? Do they purposely talk in a horrible way for them?"

"They're all on crack."

"What does 'crack' mean again?"

"It's a type of drug, remember?"

"Oh yeah, sorry, believe- I mean, sorry."

"We're making progress," Naruto said as he patted his dub version's back. "At least they didn't cut out _all _the blood in our show, right?"

Dub Naruto nodded. "They cut some out, but there's still a decent amount left."

"Imagine how Dub Gaara would be of there was absolutely no blood."

"Fans would commit murder."

"And I heard a scary rumor that the guy doing his voice is the guy who does Brock in Pokemon."

Even Dub Naruto looked…scared at that comment. He was twitching horribly…so wrong.

"Don't worry," Naruto assured him. I just checked the internet. It isn't true."

Dub Naruto calmed down. "Oh well, I'm just really glad I wasn't dubbed by 4Kids."

"I know. Even worse translations."

"Really bad voiceovers."

"Absolutely no blood."

"Terrible western dub names."

"Kakashi-sensei would probably be reading a joke book."

"No one would scream out the word 'pervert'."

"Do you think they'll shrink Tsunade's boobs?"

"Who knows? Maybe Orochimaru won't be like Michael Jackson in the dub."

"Dub Sasuke will be happy about that," Naruto mused. "But the fans won't."

"Most of our fans love gayness, right?" Dub Naruto asked.

"Yeah, they went nuts when the image of me kissing Sasuke was cut out."

They shuddered again.

"Well, it was there in the flashback…" Dub Naruto started.

"Don't say it."

"Alright."

"You know what's my favorite thing about you though?" Naruto said, giving off his trademark grin.

"I know," Dub Naruto said as he got to his feet with an identical smile.

"Henge/Transform!" Two identical naked blonde women appeared. In a puff of smoke, they returned to heir true forms.

"Nobody can take that away!" Naruto said as he put an arm around him. "Let's go get some ramen now."

The two began to walk towards the setting sun.

"At this rate, Cartoon Network will have to do uncut episodes like the Dragonball Z ones."

"Believe it."

"Not yet."


End file.
